My liver just broke up with me...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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