Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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