she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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