Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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