He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
