During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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