Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
