My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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