Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
