were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
