O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
