garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
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