yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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