listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
