we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
