So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish you could order shots online.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
