I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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