Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
