I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
