you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
