I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
