omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
is wine microwaveable?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
