i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
