what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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