I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
