like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
