dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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