You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
