Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
