My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
