i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
