Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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