...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
