My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
