East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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