Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
