i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
