he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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