I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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