Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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