what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
