The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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