i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
