There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
