You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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