**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
