Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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