Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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