You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
