STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
