i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
